Today I choose you. . . today I choose the light. . . the cave that has been my living space is now a constriction. . .I want to leave it, to be re-born, to find life. My skin itches as the flood of light focuses on my tender skin. . . Skin that has abided in darkness too long, lurking within the stagnant shadows of ignorance, pride, negative pacifism . . . and fear. . . I want to roar. . . to choose violence.
The brightness of the sun burns, I feel like a Phoenix ready to burn to ashes . . . so that I can be reborn a new creature, firmer, newer. . . Stronger.
My skin looks wrinkly, an unhealthy cloud of ashy white clings on my melanated skin. I look like the dead. . . Initially, its uncomfortable,. . . the change,. . .however, as I continue to absorb light’s strength, my skin slowly begins to sing . . . As it absorbs the power of light. . . The transformation is eclectic, multi colored beams of light erupt from my skin, . . . Light has created a luminous, multi hued layer over my skin, I rise, reborn. . . finally strong, healed and renewed.
I became an incandescent creature. My hair glimmers. . .shiny, curly, healthy and the darkest shade of black. My eyes glitter, like two dazzling silver gem stones. . . they are pools of intense light grey, luminous. . .and. . . hungry?. . . My skin is a glowing chocolate brown, glowing. . .no, singing in the light. . .
Then I smile. . . and the spell is broken. . . I glimse my image reflected from the small pool of water outside the cave. My canines have grown sharper and longer, my smile is terrible. . . Predatory. . .
I quickly hide my new fangs. . .
My legs are no better. . . they shake as I stand at the threshold of light`s presence. . .unused to the glare and majesty. . .They are shaking, mimicking the tentative movement of a newly born calf`s.
I slowly move towards light. . . Facinated at the change my previously gnarled hand is going through. I turn my hand slowly around to the right, then to the left. Watching as it gets plumper.
I then lift it up to my mouth, feeling up my new canines with my fingers. . . A wonder. . . My legs feel strong, so I walk out, radiant, dangerous, hopeful. . .
Is reality a consequence and action of the supernatural? A thing we cannot touch, or influence, . . .change or configure. . .is reality this constant, unchanging rock(majaliwa) or do we influence our reality with our attitude, actions and choices. . .might reality be fluid. . .really a thing that conforms to our own nature . . .a thing driven by our own fears, optimism, action or lack there of. . . ? I believe it is a bit of both. . . That belief will always fuel hope and faith, and hope and faith will fuel passion which in turn fuels discipline and action. . . You can do it 😊 you will do it.
Heey! this is about changing our attitudes (we do this together☺️) and about finding my own way. . . finding a new way to navigate this life as myself, imperfections and all( those vampy canines on the new body),
The bad will always be with you, you choose how much leeway to allow it, adopting healthier thinking and growing out of our fears. Understanding that it is in knowing our value that we add value to others, being great full For progress and living to be of value. . .❤️
The day will come when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom
~ Anais Nin
I know the truth, what I need to do. . . Deep inside me. . . I instinctively know. . . The day I will choose to ignore any other voice but that one. . . I walk out of my cave.
Thank you!
love,
Ruthie.
2 replies on “Into the light”
Beautiful words as usual, my favourite part was about the fangs, that we have our imperfections. About the nature of reality, wueh, I also often wonder whether it (this stands for a lot of things) will wash out in the water or is it always in the blood (John Mayer)
Thank you Kate, someone once told me we keep on striving to be better, reaching up and out towards the ideal, regardless of the challenges, becoming healthier mentally, emotionally, physically, choosing to forgive ourselves and others, working towards our goals with gusto and integrity. . .it`s quite the challenge right? . . . Yet I genuinely believe that once we choose this path, and begin this sometimes arduous but also rewarding journey, this path leads towards our redemption. . .where we find renewal, forgiveness, strength and satisfaction.
We find the answers together, sharing, loving and living.