. . .She was tired of fatalistic sort of thinking in relationships, `I love, but nothing can be done about it`
It was her belief that it was cowardly, it never failed to incense her, and she marched away from it with the confidence of a thousand suns!

Where there was love she believed there could not be fear. People first tried then failed, not failed for not trying!
This was the attitude she wore, and with this same attitude she tackled those airy `We will met again` romances. Romances that refused to get their hands dirty and simply left it all to chance. She found all that chance stuff supercilious, love was incomparable. . .required investment, and anyway what good thing of value did not.
Without determination, there could be no win.
She rather preferred fighters, those who chose to hope in darkness. . . those who chose a side. . . to either love or leave.
She disliked emotional hangers on, there was no in between for her, she either threw herself fully into love or cut off completely. Zero ambiguity.
Her self assured decisiveness come from the realization that people would never make good anchors. She could not anchor anyone successfully and as such she learnt not to attach the same pressure on anyone else.
The human persons proclivity to change is inevitable. A persons promise of love eternal was akin to leaves promising to never change color, even when predominantly green, seasons are known to turn the green into a beautiful burnished red in some areas. Just like leaves seasons turn humans too. An anchor is solid, unchanging, unyielding . . .trustworthy.
Her anchor is God.

Hey! So I was having an unrelated conversation with my mum last month, I was so upset with a really close family member I was angry! 😤 my my I spent the whole time venting to her, feeling very unforgiving. After I finally finished my story, mum asked me whether I valued that relationship. . . ‘Well obviously!!’
I replied, but she has made me really really angry and she is in the wrong! I am waiting for her apology! Mummy looked at me and asked me what she always asks without fail! As irritating as it can sometimes be- ‘ what would Jesus expect you to do in this situation?’ the answer she expected was to forgive , in this particular instance though she elaborated her intent. Forgiveness was difficult, and required a measure of self control and discernment, it was choosing to pass over the responsibility of retribution and give it to a more discerning and wiser entity, who will ensure justice is done. This action is counterintuitive as our nature seeks immediate retribution when we feel wronged, whether this is real wrong or a perceived slight. Forgiveness is however not passive, in some instances forgiveness ought to go hand in hand with emotional distance and/or some self accountability.
I was so bitter. I knew I needed external help to forgive, so I prayed, and asked God for help to forgive, I passed on to Him the burden of retribution. It was not easy, but help came, in form of peace and a flood of love. For awhile now God has been who anchors my attempts at being a better human being.
love,
Ruthy.
2 replies on “Her Anchor”
Wow, I am touched by your vulnerability, that couldn’t have been easy at all.
. . . Thank you for seeing ❤️🤍